Abomination

Abominable in every way, it terrorizes innocent students on a daily basis. It is a torture so malevolent that it should only be used in prisoner of war camps, but here it is being used in schools. What kind of evil is this? It is the notorious essay.

Why would this detestable agony be forced upon blameless children? Who is to blame? Many would blame the teacher, but who placed this deadly weapon into their hands? It was a man who lived in the fifteen hundreds.  It was Michel de Montaigne, an influential writer from France. He popularized the mutilating task we now call an essay.

The excruciating pain caused by writing essays could be compared to child birth and even going to the dentist.  The agony starts with a painful racking of the brain. This cruelty is known as brain-storming. Then the victim is brutally forced to communicate these thoughts through an afflictive and laborious task that we now call writing. After that, the recipient of such deeds must be graded and told what to improve on so that he can go write another essay. The cycle continues, forever oppressing poor innocent children. 

Why are children condemned in such a way? Does it give teachers pleasure to cause these afflictions, and if so, why? Is it to satisfy a longing to take out their own misfortunes on others? The children are merely sitting ducks. They are defenseless prey. Please stop this before somebody is seriously wounded… or worse.