Noise feels my ears in tremendous proportions. And as I walk through, I hear a faint murmur beyond the chaos. It must have been nothing, but my imagination. But wait… there it is again! What could it be, I wonder. If only I could realize, but it is too soft as it is muted by the sounds of the construction sight. I strain my senses, listening for it again, as if I were squinting with my ears. Then I realize, all but too late. A warning cry from a crow perched on the highest point of the building. I turn around swiftly, only to my surprise to have my sight met by an immense wrecking ball, swinging towards me, with no where to run. Of course, fate would lead me hear, to the spot of my father's death, for me to join him as well. I fall to my knees and whisper one last prayer, and then it is all over. I will now see my father again, or in our native tongue rather, pater meus. After cheating Pluto this many times, it is time, that he shall finally get his wish. Goodbye, clueless world, or rather, vale.
I like how you wrote this piece from the perspective of a character, and had the voice be so authentic, even using some Latin. I would like to see more organization to the piece, but it's a short, one day work, so I can also see some lack of structure not being terribly grave.
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